the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
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