3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
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