someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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