Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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