also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize