Your tits are I can't wait for
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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