why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
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