I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
