hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Randomize
