I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize