my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize