Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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