There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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