just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Randomize
