Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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