I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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