Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
