I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
