If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
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