You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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