Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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