Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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