I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
As shirtless as possible
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Randomize