READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
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