Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
