Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
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