everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
