I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
what day is it and did you see me today?
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Church boner. Awkwardddd
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Randomize
