I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
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