I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Randomize
