Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
