I think i sorta joined a cult last night
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
