I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
