Dude my mom stole all your condoms
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
