Christians are straight up FREAKS
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
