There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
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