i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
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