it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
