I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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