his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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