Three words: puerto rican gang bang
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
We're too hungover to prance.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
