i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Randomize
