This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
