I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
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