Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
