No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
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