He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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