I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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