wat bout pragnant strippers??
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Randomize
