do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
Randomize
