loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
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