I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
