I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Randomize
