How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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