why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Please don't give away my fajitas
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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