eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
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