There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Can you bring me the toilet please
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
