dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
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