you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
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