the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
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