There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
