I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Randomize
