Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
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