Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
