Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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